ask about my vengeful wrath   Submit   Knight in search of the holy grail.

"Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows."
— 3 hours ago with 61202 notes
cwissi:

moon3:

A lunar tetrad – four total lunar eclipses in a row – begins on the night of April 14-15. People are calling it a Blood Moon eclipse. 2014

she was so beautiful last night

cwissi:

moon3:


A lunar tetrad – four total lunar eclipses in a row – begins on the night of April 14-15. People are calling it a Blood Moon eclipse. 2014

she was so beautiful last night

(Source: destroymefromadistance, via lyndistarr)

— 3 hours ago with 51691 notes

plantkitten:

i love you im glad you exist im so happy you’re alive

(Source: glomarresponse, via bendydicks)

— 1 day ago with 117635 notes
Anonymous asked: Describe a bad blowjob


Answer:

nicevagina:

— 1 day ago with 4964 notes
uzlolzu:

This is very old but I found it again and I still like it. Amazing.
All my vampires have their own set of pointy teeth óuò. My babies.

uzlolzu:

This is very old but I found it again and I still like it. Amazing.

All my vampires have their own set of pointy teeth óuò. My babies.

(via bendydicks)

— 1 day ago with 10786 notes
razputinapuato:

PEOPLE FUCKING FORGET MOOSE ARE NOT MAMMALS THEY ARE PURE TALL TALLS

razputinapuato:

PEOPLE FUCKING FORGET MOOSE ARE NOT MAMMALS THEY ARE PURE TALL TALLS

(via curiouslyhigh)

— 1 day ago with 99698 notes

hod-the-blind:

dx11:

mancermechro:

not sure why people don’t automatically say “shapeshifting” when asked what they want their superpower to be. you could become anyone you want. even fictional characters. anyone. cosplay would always be spot-on. dysphoria wouldn’t exist. perfection

rob a bank and disguise yourself as a stray pen lying on a shelf when the cops come

A pen with a shit ton of money lying next to it.

(via batman2739)

— 1 day ago with 174156 notes

neverending-fairytale:

Saw my all time favourite dress. Great opportunity to shoot some close-ups!

(via curiouslyhigh)

— 1 day ago with 11465 notes

thebobblehat:

- Professionals

- Frat buds

- Children

(Source: tsundereslasher, via curiouslyhigh)

— 1 day ago with 231305 notes

Death? You want death? I’m afraid that would be far too boring.Death is my meat; terror my wine.

Death? You want death? I’m afraid that would be far too boring.
Death is my meat; terror my wine.

(Source: dagothraur, via death-valley-super-star)

— 1 day ago with 27 notes